


Afterlife

by DittyWrites



Series: Scarecrow/Riddler Shenanigans [20]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Companionable Snark, Gallows Humor, M/M, Religious Discussion, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24073936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DittyWrites/pseuds/DittyWrites
Summary: In which Jonathan and Edward discuss their views on the afterlife, their consistent amorality, and (for some reason) Voltaire.
Relationships: Jonathan Crane & Edward Nygma, Jonathan Crane/Edward Nygma
Series: Scarecrow/Riddler Shenanigans [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/564865
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-upload of a much older work because that one was looking janky for some unknown reason lmao xx

"Do you ever ponder what comes next?"

Seated upon his favourite chair like a king upon his throne, Edwards' inquisitive glance appeared above his spread newspaper as he sought out Jonathan's uninterested frame.

Having spent two full days holed up together in order to finalise a joint criminal venture involving the Gotham Museum and First National Bank, both men had exhausted their ability to feign a social interest in the other and had retreated to their own designated 'area' of the basement. A basement which was technically owned by Edward since he held the deed to the building which the room resided beneath. 

Under a false name of course.

Above, the soft noises of various tenants as they clattered about their own lives could be heard, each individual unaware of the insidious plotting and dangerous criminals which lurked below. 

"Hmm?" Jonathan did not look up from his own reading, the latest edition of Gotham's leading psychiatric journal, as Edwards' voice floated over and interrupted him. "What was that?"

"Do you ever ponder what comes next?" Edward repeated a touch louder.

Too vague a question for Jonathan's liking.

"In what regard? To our plans? To tonight?" Sniffing as he flicked to the next page with a long finger, Jonathan frowned his irritation. "Specify what you are asking me or leave me alone. You're wasting my time."

"Grumpy bastard." Edward murmured ensuring that he was loud out to be heard. "What i am asking you, my dear doctor," he continued with pointed sarcasm, "is do you ever think of what awaits us after we shuffle off this mortal coil?"

"I don't concern myself with questions which have no value." Jonathan countered, finally giving Edward his much-sought after attention with a piercing gaze as he added, "Unlike some."

"So, you mean to tell me that you never think of what lies beyond 'this'?" Gesturing around loosely with one hand, Edward indicated everything within reach. "The afterlife is the greatest riddle of all. Do you not fear the judgement of your maker? If you believe in one, that is."

"I do not fear anything." Jonathans' eye twitched. "Least of all, that."

Edward pursed his lips. His eyes sparkled with the thought of new knowledge to come.  
  
"So you do not believe in Him then?”

"I suppose i do." Jonathan sighed, realising that his point had been misconstrued. "But i do not feel I owe Him anything. I do not fear Him and I am willing to accept whatever fate awaits me knowing that He is as flawed as I am. If not, more."

"Bold of you to claim such a thing." Edward prodded. 

Jonathans' legs crossed as he deposited his newspaper on his lap, dedicating his full attention to the conversation at hand.

"A loving God would not have allowed me to exist." Splaying his fingers across his chest, Jonathan slid backwards a touch to allow his back to rest fully against the chair. "He would not have allowed the circumstances which saw the death of Jonathan Crane and birth of the Scarecrow. A loving God would never have allowed my dearest great granny to lay as much as her sight on me."

"If you are trying to encourage sympathy," Edward cut in, a soft smirk playing at the corner of his lips, "then know that i have been on the receiving end of your bastard toxin enough to firmly extinguish any such notion of feeling."

"I'd sooner die than have you pity me." Jonathan spat back, irked that Edward was successfully getting a rise from him. "My point is that a loving God would have saw to it that i was never left to the life I had. He should have removed me from my fate, be that by intervention or by smothering me in the crib."

"I was going to claim that God is not in the habit of endorsing child murder, but i can think of many first-born Egyptian children who could potentially contest that point." 

Edwards' smile flashed in the dimness of the room as he amused himself with his point.

Giving a grim smile of his own, Jonathan inclined his head and his eyes zeroed in on Edward as he put forth his own question.

"And what abut you?" He asked. "I doubt you are a God-fearing man, in fact, i would be surprised if you held any religious belief at all. It is difficult to believe in a higher power when one has a greatly inflated sense of ego."

"Hilarious." Edward dead-panned before scratching his wrist on the edge of his seat. "But you are technically right. I don't believe in any God or higher power governing my life without my consent."

"Bold of you to claim such a thing." Jonathan echoed Edwards' earlier words.

"Again, hilarious." With a click of his tongue in disapproval, Edward fell silent.

"How many people have you killed?" Jonathan asked, quite out of the blue given their current discussion.

An abrupt question met with a cocked eyebrow.

"If it's rude to ask a woman her age," Edward answered, "then it's equally as rude to ask a career criminal how many notches they're carved into their death-post."

"Neither you or i have ever knowingly killed a true innocent," Jonathan continued as though Edward had not spoken, "but how many children have we condemned to a life without a father? Without a mother? Without a loved one whom they would be lucky to even retain faint memory of? We deserve what comes to us and any judgement passed is irrelevant because our punishment is very justified." 

"It's all irrelevant because i plan to repent for every sin i have committed a i lay on my death bed."

"Why?"

"I might not believe in God but i know when to hedge my bets in my favour." Edward gave a simple shrug. "If, and i mean 'if', i'm proven wrong and God does exist i would rather he believed i was repentant because that gives me more room to barter my fate."

"Do you know anything of Voltaire's final words?" 

Holding back a smirk, Jonathan adjusted his glasses as he posed the question.

"No."

"When asked, on his death bed, if he wished to renounce Satan he responded with, 'My good man, now is not the time to be making enemies.'"

Edward snorted.

"Now that is funny." He confirmed before placing a thoughtful look on his features. "However, i doubt Voltaire ever held a group of charity workers over a vat of acid with their lives dependent on a man dressed as a nocturnal creature answering a question correctly. I feel our circumstances are somewhat different."

The laughter which Jonathan poorly attempted to disguise as a cough escaped him quickly.

"A very astute point, Mr. Nygma."


	2. Nygma Drabble - Envy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have absolutely no idea where to put this wee drabble and i dont wanna make a new work for it so it's getting whacked in here lmao.

His coffee just a touch too warm to be enjoyable, Edward held the cup within his gloved hands and blew on it with soft breaths. One of the few benefits of a day out ‘incognito’ was the ability to relax in cafes and various shopping outlets with no fear of a rubber boot to the sternum.

His gaze was focused squarely on the street outside and the various denizens of Gotham City who flitted by as they continued on with their day, unaware of his observations.

They were so…uninteresting.

A woman scolding her young child for failing to do what they were told as it touched everything in sight with, presumably, filthy hands. A couple walking just a little too far apart to suggest a rosy relationship. A man being almost dragged along the pavement by various breeds of dog which moved as a solid pack.

What boring lives they must lead.

How they wouldn’t last a day in his shoes!

His days were filled with knowledge and creativity, tasks to better himself to expand his impressive mind. Even at the times where trouble arose, where bullets sought him out and threats were the language of the day, he could still appreciate it.

Amusing himself with small imaginings into their lives, Edward pulled up thoughts of washings, the colours split into necessary piles, and taxes, paid on time without question, and other non-excting things.

He never switched off and they never seemed to switch on.

Where they had basic, unnecessary human comforts such as belonging and what passed for love, he possessed something they did not; a knowledge which they could never hope to achieve or even come close to.

Sipping the coffee, the warmth much more acceptable now, he allowed his amusement to wash through him as he tactfully ignoring the uncomfortable weight of envy which had settled deep in his gut.


End file.
